WHAT IS MARRIAGE? PART 2
THE KEYS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
When you are caught up in the excitement of your wedding, it can be hard to imagine that you and your spouse might not live happily ever after. But sharing your life with another person can be a challenge, especially if you do not have a lot of experience with relationships. Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful.
A marriage based on love and respect doesn’t just happen. Both spouses have to do their part. Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.
COMMUNICATE
Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you are feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate. Part of good communication is being a
good listener and taking the time to understand what it is your spouse wants and needs from you.
Communicate to your spouse how important they are too you and that you are grateful to have them in your life.
Learn to appreciate each other, your relationship, your family, and your lives together.
Show gratitude when your spouse prepares a meal even if you may not want.
Make time for each other.
Romance is a very important factor. Plan special dates, either to go out or just stay at home.
PLAN FOR SOME PERSONAL TIME
Spending time alone is just as important as being together. Everyone needs time to recharge, think, and enjoy personal interests. Do something that is enriching.
REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN DISAGREE TOAGREE
You won’t agree on everything, but it is important to be fair and respectful during disagreements. Listen to your
spouse’s point of view. Try not to get angry and don’t let yourself become too frustrated. Walk away and calm down if you need to, then discuss the problem again when you’re both in a better frame of mind. Compromise on problems so that you both give a little.
BUILD TRUST
John Gottman, Ph.D., Marriage therapist and researcher found that criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are serious threats to a marriage. The more a couple engages in these destructive activities, the more likely they are to divorce. His decades of research and of working with couples have shown that spouses who stay together know how to fight without being hostile and to take responsibility for their actions. They are also more likely to respond quickly to each other’s wishes to make up after fights and repair the relationship.
Listen to what Proverbs 10:9 says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”
If trust is so cherished in a marriage relationship, what can we do to build it up?
Step One – Keep your Word. To the best of your ability, do what you say you’re going to do. If you promise to spend time with your spouse do it! Promise to get a job completed do it! Promise to be home at a certain time then make it happen!
Step Two – Be Transparent. This means having nothing to hide from your spouse.
Step Three – Lie Not. It might sound trite and simple, but the reality is we all struggle with the truth. Whether it’s a blatant lie stretching the truth or letting your spouse believe something that isn’t true it has no place in a marriage relationship.
And finally Step Four – Confess Promptly. The reality is that we’re not perfect people and there’s will be times we don’t keep our word we aren’t immediately transparent or we lie. Instead of letting those situations fester and erode trust quickly and appropriately confess your sins and ask forgiveness.
The temporary pain of imperfection combined with the goal of rebuilding intimacy will actually build a strong foundation of trust in your relationship.
……………………To be continue